I keep wondering what I should do to make money. While my home life is wonderful, I'm finding more and more a need to "get a real job."

But...I don't want a real job. At least not like the position I left to stay home with Alden. While my co-workers were a true bright spot, I worked really hard for very little money and dealt with a whole lot of bitchiness from clueless customers. Which made me bitchy. Which made me very glad not to go back.

I want a job with lots of freedom for creativity and problem solving and free-thinking. I'm pretty sure I can *make* this position for myself be running my own business, but I keep losing focus. First I thought writing was the ticket. But, commercial writing doesn't truly light my fire. Then I thought I could do crafts from home. While this still holds my interest, I'm waffling on it a little because I just read MBAs do really well straight out of school since the market has rebounded.

See, money seems to be the overriding factor in all this flip-flopping. I'm having a hard time giving myself permission to just make what we need, and not worry about bringing in more. We have some debts to pay off, but we can do it with the money I make babysitting and having a small side-business. It's the thought of being debt free sooner rather than later that really attracts me to going the school route, so I can get a big $$$ job. Only I wouldn't be living my dream, I'd be postponing it to make more money, so I could hopefully live my dream sooner.

ARRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!! I don't know. Maybe for I now it makes sense to stay the course. I didn't hear back from the job I applied for (I think I sent my application in too late). I've been working on organizing my studio so I can actually do some crafting. Plus, I have some design work to do.

So, I'm gonna keep on cleaning, keep on crafting, and keep on designing...and we'll see where it leads.